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Squashed Grapes

“Ownin’ a great bottle of wine is like ownin’ a piece of history.  The way I see it; you can never own too much history,” exclaims Mr. T.T. Kelleher, an avid wine collector from the great state of Texas.  Unlike most people, Mr. Kelleher knows the subtle differences between a Shiraz and a Cabernet Sauvignon.  He belongs to a small, affluent circle of people who attend events that celebrate the bottles of wine about which he speaks so passionately.  These wine-tasting events offer the collector or the casual wine drinker a chance to learn a little more about the wines they drink.  In an atmosphere of elegance and sophistication, amongst a knowledgeable staff, wine aficionados taste and sample as many wines as they like, possibly even deciding to take home a bottle or case of their favorite.

Harwood's of London

Some Harwood offerings

Once a month, Harwood’s of London opens its auction house doors for its special customers.  Established in 1823, Harwood’s reflects the tastes of an older world complete with formal address and proper etiquette. Its wine-tasting events occur in large salons where bookshelves with red leather-bound tomes and bouquets of pink and white stargazer lilies offer some of the only touches of bright color. Surrounded by dark wood paneling, hung with prints and portraits that might belong in the study of a 19^th century English gentleman—all proper and fastidious, an older customer base begins to review the day's catalogue of offerings, as a subtle trace of classical music plays softly in the background. The hosts, Maggie, Mr. Harwood, and her brother Richard, remain on-hand to offer their expertise about the wines lined up like toy soldiers upon scarlet red coasters embossed with the auction house’s name. Within this sanctum, Harwood’s of London invites its guests to swirl, sniff, study, sip, swish, and spit.

How to Taste Wine

To the untrained observer, the image of a group of mature men and women bending over silver spittoons in order to expel wine might seem alarming.  However, this is all part of the wine-tasting process.  The full appreciation of any wine requires a fairly specific set of steps.  First, the thirsty drinker pours roughly two fingers of wine into a small sampling glass.  Too much wine in the glass would prohibit the necessary steps in the tasting.  Next, the drinker thrusts his or her nose into the mouth of the glass in order to savor the bouquet of the wine, demonstrating the acknowledged claim that the nose knows.  Some might even pause to smell the cork, which has been meticulously rubber-banded to its original bottle for just such a purpose.  A swirl of the liquid in the glass while held up to the light demonstrates the consistency of the wine and its clarity.  Finally, the long-awaited sip occurs.  However, these connoisseurs don’t swallow.  They swish the wine around in their mouths, lingering on its flavor, maybe swallowing a little, before spitting the wine into the awaiting receptacles.  This action allows the wine taster to sample a variety of wines without becoming too intoxicated. For a more in-depth look at wine tasting, view this video:

Dealing with Customers   

On one Saturday, a novice, and clearly out-of-place, guest of Mr. Kelleher observed this ritual, remarking to a staff member, “Looks like he doesn’t like your wine.  Looks like nobody does.”  Such comments often cause Maggie Harwood, an employee of Harwood’s and daughter of the establishment owner, a significant amount of frustration.  With her black and white dress, she appeared every inch the conservative assistant, complementing the décor by fading into the background.  Other indicators of this guest’s displacement included his light brown sports jacket with a white open-collared shirt amidst a sea of other gentlemen adorned in more formal dark gray and blue business suits and ties.  His thick, wavy brown hair also stood in stark contrast to the gray and thinning hair of many of the other attendees.  

            At one point, Maggie watched as he picked up a sample glass, and then proceeded to mix multiple red wines together, emptying the remaining contents from several bottles.  Maggie approached him, astonished.

            “Excuse me,” she said hesitantly, “those are two different wines.”

            “They’re both red,” he replied in all seriousness before downing his concoction.  Earlier, he had actually requested a Budweiser.  Just as she began to turn away, he withdrew a stick of gum, thrust it toward her and waggled it.  With a big grin on his handsome face, he tried to charm Maggie, asking, “Gum?? Juicyfruit ’74.”

           

Disgustedly, she answered with narrowed eyes, “You find this all kind of amusing.”

            “Nah, I find David Letterman amusing.  This falls more into the weird category.”

            “Why are you here?” she demanded, her shoulders tensing just below her short-cropped red hair, restrained by a black headband. 

            “I got dragged here by Mr. T.T. Kelleher,” he explained.

Assuredly, not all attendees of a wine-tasting display such a lack of awareness of its rules and decorum.  Most customers take the process seriously. Snippets of conversation among groups of two or three tasters echo in the space: “I can’t make up my mind between the Margaux and the . . .” or “If you’re interested in the ’64 for tomorrow’s auction, I think you’ll find you’re better off with the Petrus sur latour” or “Um, well, they’re both very nice.  Um that one.  Bloody brilliant.”  Each comment reflects the reactions to various wines. In particular, wine quality can be affected by a wide range of factors, from the harvest time to the weather during a given year. Maggie really cares about wine; she loves it.  So she spends a considerable amount of time learning about wine, as well as the merchandise that Harwood’s handles. 

Assembling Their Catalogue

The wines Harwood’s displays for its customers come from a variety of sources.  Often a representative of Harwood’s will be asked to catalogue the wine cellar of an estate in probate.  In such a case, Richard or Mr. Harwood would travel to the estate and dutifully create an inventory.  The catalogues are organized by types of wine: Whites include Chardonnay, Riesling, Pinot Blanc; and Reds such as Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Shiraz, Pinot Noir, and others.  Wines are also identified by their maker (such as Robert Mondavi) and their vintage or year.  Although Maggie has not yet been allowed to catalogue a collection for Harwood’s, she longs for the day: “I just know that I will represent Harwood’s well.  I just need to convince my father that I’m ready.” 

While on the trip, the cataloger of any collection looks specifically for that rare and unusual vintage.  Maggie explains, “Once in a great while, in particularly older collections, we will discover additional bottles of a limited vintage.  This kind of discovery might prompt us to hold a private auction, inviting only our best customers.”  Because these types of finds are rare, Harwood’s must also rely on their yearly buying trips to established vineyards.  Again Richard or Mr. Harwood travels from Belgium to Germany to France and finishes in Italy, purchasing an elite number of wines to offer to their customers.  They rarely cross the Atlantic to explore the wine country of Napa or Sonoma Valleys.

A Satisfied Customer

Some Harwood offerings sold

The ultimate goal of Harwood’s owner and staff is to see multiple customers leave with a bottle or two of wine, if not an entire case.  At the end of Saturday’s event, Mr. T.T. Kelleher purchased $500 worth of squashed grapes, with each bottle’s price ranging $40-$75.  His was just one of the many purchases that made the event a success and gave meaning to the disarray of half-empty bottles and rows of drained glasses crowding around the sign that read, “Place used glasses here.”

Images courtesy of Jung, Carolyn. "A Taste of Beringer." Food Gal: Musings on Food, Wine, Laughter and Life. Foodgal.com. Wordpress, 25 Dec 2009. Web. 31 Aug. 2014.